It’s Official. We Are Fucked!


Take a look at this freakshow!

According to scientists, this young, strapping lad is what we are going to look like in 1,000 years! Still want to bitch and moan about how “2020 won’t end?”

Didn’t think so.

Let’s all just pause and take a minute to be thankful we won’t be around long enough to see ourselves devolve into whatever this tiny-mouthed, swamp creature with fucked up teeth is.

And if you thought being blessed with a face for radio wasn’t bad enough, apparently, we will have no hair and our skin will be wrinkled due to “increased solar radiation!” They make no mention of why we suddenly become a hunchback, but at this point we are just happy they had the decency to blur out his man-parts. Lord knows what’s lurking behind those pixels, and there are some things that once seen, cannot be unseen.

So, what is the point of telling you all of this? Well – look at this mutant’s brain. It is tiny. That is what several decades’ worth of screen time and reality TV is going to do if you don’t take action. Enter nootropics!

“Nootropic(s)” is just a fancy-ass way of referencing the vitamins, minerals, and amino acids that you probably aren’t getting enough of from diet alone. They basically stop your brain from acting like a total dick, and we include them in Bird Brain for this exact reason. While they may not prevent you from looking like Uncle Fester after a terrible car accident, they can help stop your brain from shrinking to the size of a walnut.

Now, if you’ll allow us to nerd out for a second here are some of the specific nootropics we include and what they help with:

Alpha GPC
Alpha GPC is a choline source that can cross the blood-brain barrier and go directly into the brain. Most people do not get enough choline from their diet alone. In addition, choline can increase a chemical in the brain called Acetylcholine, which plays an important role in mental processes such as memory and cognition by optimizing cell-to-cell communication. As we age or are put in stressful situations Acetylcholine is not produced at optimal levels. In fact, a significant decrease in Acetylcholine has been linked to Alzheimer’s.

If you’re sleep-deprived, sick, hungover, or under stress from prolonged periods of work, it is hard to get motivated and achieve optimal mental performance. One reason may be that during times of stress, key neurotransmitters can become severely depleted. Tyrosine is a naturally occurring amino acid that the body converts into these neurotransmitters to ensure you can perform even under less-than-ideal conditions.

Acetyl L-Carnitine
L-Carnitine is an amino acid that helps produce energy. By adding an acetyl group, Acetyl L-Carnitine can effectively cross the blood-brain barrier to get directly into your brain. It has been linked to not only an increase in energy, but also improvement in general brain function.

By itself, L-Theanine is a well-known nootropic, but by combining it with caffeine, you get a synergistic effect of calm alertness and focus you don’t get with caffeine alone. If you’re someone who likes caffeine but gets the jitters from too much, then you may not be balancing it out with enough L-Theanine.

Oh yea – we also have between 135-150 mg of caffeine in each can! The result is increased cognitive performance in a can that will help you stop your brain from looking like our friend’s here.

So, did 2020 suck? Yea it sure did – but it could get a lot worse if we don’t start taking care of ourselves. So, let’s all make a resolution in 2021 to make our brain suck less. We can think of no better way to start doing that than by ordering some Bird Brain and taking some vitamins directly to the dome!

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